Europe's Unified Patent Court: where will it be?

Utopia: sadly, not part of the EU,
and quite lacking in any
experience of patent litigation

In moments of idle of speculation (usually while waiting for web pages to download -- that's about the only free time Merpel gets these days) her feline fancies turn to a question which many have asked her, but which even the most intuitive twitch of her whiskers has not led her to an answer: "where will the Unified Patent Court be?"

Questions of this kind have cropped up before in the frenzied world of European IP and have been dealt with by spreading the offices around as follows:

• European Patent Office: Munich and Berlin (Germany), The Hague (Netherlands), Vienna (Austria) and Brussels (Belgium)
• Office for Harmonisation in the Internal Market: Alicante (Spain)
• Community Plant Variety Office: Angers (France)
• EURid: Brussels (Belgium), Prague (Czech Republic), Pisa (Italy), Stockholm (Sweden)
• Community Registry of Trade Secrets: no information available ...

Some of these decisions have been strikingly successful; at the very worst, all can be said to have delivered an acceptable standard of service, give or take the odd bit of fine-tuning. What's more, with the occasional exception of the good folk who check your passport when you try to enter Fortress OHIM, there have been no problems worth mentioning so far as language is concerned, whatever the location.

In an effort to make Unified patent litigation more
attractive to litigants, the Commission will ask judges
to cast aside their traditional robes for brighter garb ...

So what about the Unified Patent Court? In theory it doesn't need to be anywhere: it could be a virtual court in which the judges, their staff, the litigants, representatives and witnesses simply pop into a video-conferencing centre and do their bit. This would be the cheapest and easiest option, but Merpel understands that it has already been vetoed by the Directorate for Judicial Wining and Dining, which points out that panels of judges function best (i) after lunch and (ii) as a consequence of having consumed said lunch in each's other's company -- and in the company of a decent bottle or two of alcoholic protected geographical indication. Nice work if you can get it.

Another option, though not a popular one, is to have not just one seat for the court but two or more seats. The European Parliament fell for this piece of expensive, environmentally unfriendly and logistically inconvenient nonsense when it split its various activities between Brussels, Strasbourg and Luxembourg. The trouble with arrangements like this is that they appear to be impossible to unscramble at a later stage, even if there is an apparent popular sentiment to that effect.

If the Court has to go somewhere, here are some options from which readers of this weblog may wish to choose:

Toulouse (France): a beautiful city of historic interest. Pleasant, temperate climate. Highly rated for its wining and dining, hence likely to be popular with the judiciary. Here oysters are eaten, not used as public transport tickets (cf. London). Feared by patent litigants because it is a homophone of the English words "to lose". Upside: has its own airport and is also the headquarters of Airbus. Downside: French air traffic controllers ....

London (England): if you want airports, it has five of them. If you want weather, stay around long enough and you can have whatever you want. It'so cosmopolitan that you have to be foreign if you want to feel at home. Loved by patent litigants now that it has suddenly become cheap and friendly. Upside: The Old Nick, spiritual home of the local IP blogging community. Downside: all British tennis players are programmed to self-destruct, annually, each June.

... while patent attorneys will
address the court wearing this
handsome Bulgarian headgear 

Koprivshtitsa (Bulgaria): nestling in the mountains and with architecture reflecting the 19th Bulgarian National Revival period. Fresh, crisp air will help clarify judicial thoughts. Lack of night life and limited hotel accommodation means that lawyers and clients may have to share beds. Bulgaria hasn't yet been given a turn to host any EU office, so a strong campaign is expected. Upside: it's a long, long way from Alicante. Downside: try pronouncing it after you've had a few drinks.

Guangzhou (China): a strongly-fancied outsider. While the People's Republic of China (PRC) is not within the European Union, most of the EU's assets, technology and know how will soon be in the PRC, if they're not already. Conveniently placed for visitors from Hong Kong, this location also has the advantage of being equally inconvenient for all participants in any patent suit. Upside: exquisite local cuisine. Downside: half an hour after your case is decided, you feel like having another one.

Seriously, says Merpel, there's a lot to be said in London's favour. The city is a hive of IP activity; it's literally a-buzz with seminars, meetings, discussions, conferences that focus not just on patents but across the whole spectrum of IP; it also has a spectacular range of litigation support services, for those poor unfortunates who need things to be translated, transcripted, reformatted or generally processed by someone who is not a lawyer but knows what to do. With a large, patent-based professional infrastructure, experts are on hand to testify, and local law firms abound that can help deal with litigation overload.

The Old Nick: popular place of
pilgrimage, where visiting IP
enthusiasts can treat local
IP bloggers to a traditional
pint of Badger

London's recent investment in intellectual property litigation can be seen in terms of bricks-and-mortar (with the stylish Rolls Building), rules and regulations (with the revitalisation of lower-cost litigation in the Patents County Court) and even in flesh and blood (with strong judicial appointments to its IP trial courts and to the Court of Appeal). Years of competition both at home and abroad have ensured that the capital's hourly rates are comparable to those of similar practitioners in other countries, and recent judgments show that the old 'anti-patent' allegations aimed at the Patents Court are a hoary old myth. But, most importantly, London is the base for the preponderant majority of the IPKat blogging team, who hate to miss out on all the excitement ...

Merpel adds: if you have any good suggestions for the location of the Unified Patent Court, do let me know. Either post a comment below or email me here.